3:24 a.m.: After fooling around in the front yard for a while, the ol' ball and chain (who has, incidentally, chosen to keep her "Ms." title, leading me to wonder absently whether or not the couple have chosen to live a sinful life without marriage) calls Pac-Man inside. I follow.
Instantly, the nagging begins. Pac-Baby has run out of milk, and apparently it's Pac-Man's responsibility to keep the house stocked. And so, our first mission begins.
3:35 a.m.: With a starving baby at home, a nagging wife to worry about, and a guard dog mere feet in front of him, the first thing Pac-Man does is attempt to steal a neighbor's apple.
He fails. I decide against helping him, despite the puppy dog eyes.
3:44 a.m.: I kindly suggest to Pac-Man that he ask his neighbor for milk by violently launching a rock at their door. Pac-Man understands, and decides to openly walk inside.
Here we meet Lucy, the adorable neighbor who becomes a key figure later in the game. Lucy is obviously having trouble moving her couch.
This seems to confuse Pac-Man. He ponders the situation briefly...
...and then leaves, obviously overcome by grief.
3:58 a.m.: We've made it to the neighborhood park. Feeling just slightly trigger happy, I shoot the clock, which responds by playing a happy tune. Pac-Man, ignoring the sign leading to his child's salvation, waltzes appreciatively.
It is here in the park that I notice the game's impressive parallax scrolling for the first time. Pac-Man 2 never ceases to surprise me.
4:10 a.m.: As Pac-Man waddles through the city, I unleash a trio of deadly ghosts by destroying the trash can they called home. Pac-Man begs me for a power pellet.
I let him squirm for a while. The ghosts resort to torture by making really mean faces at him.
"Bet you wish you moved that couch now!" I find myself saying.
Overcome with fear, Pac-Man keels over behind a tree.
That's right, you little yellow bastard. Appeasing your happiness isn't the only way to get your attention. I have other methods.
None of this "working together" stuff. I'm in charge of this ship. I'll help you get the milk, see, but we're doing things my way from now on.
He faints. The ghosts and I share a good laugh. I wish them well before they leave.
