****Crack of a whip is heard****

OUCH! Damn it. Mr. Joe Santulli forces me to write reviews longer than that. Yes, he locks me up in a dark room, only illuminated by a Game Boy Advance SP and this computer monitor. Here I sit on the damp cold floor in an undisclosed location writing this on a DOS based program using a 386 PC. How else do you think I could possibly write all of these reviews? Yes, he is that cruel. Anyway, since I'm stuck here, let's move on shall we?

This cartridge contains a port of what is SUPPOSED to be King of Fighters '99. The striker option is here (an extra character who can chime in during a match for a quick shot) as are the backgrounds. The gameplay however, well, didn't quite make it. Come to think of it, Joe hasn't come down here to feed me yet either...

First and foremost, this game is DARK. Characters like Kyo are barely noticeable against the bleak backgrounds and trying to make out the finer details (if there are any) will most likely result in a trip to the optometrist. Even on the new SP, you'll still struggle to identify some of the moves. To top it all off, the animation has been absolutely butchered. Find a move with more than three frames and I'll...uh...well, I can't do a whole lot from here since I'm locked in here and stuff.

Voices? Oh yeah, there here. The music? Very little has made the translation. The music is not only grating, but it simply overpowers the sound effects. If you can here any of the voices, they do sound somewhat audible, but it doesn't make up for the music. Even as a slave game reviewer, it's hard to describe how utterly awful the music is.

Any gamer will admit that they can live with some graphical issues and even some major sound issues as long as the gameplay pulls it all together. It doesn't. Even on the hardest difficulty, the game is insanely easy. Each match can be won with simple foot sweeps, whether they be strong or weak does not matter. Even with Geese and his irritating counter, it still doesn't rise above the level of "monkey." Even with the few unlockable characters, you won't want to play through this one more than once. Even the wide variety of modes that should keep me occupied down here should be enjoyable, but alas, it's not to be.

Well, it's lunch time. Joe has been kind enough to furnish me with water (clean this week!) and some stale sourdough bread from Burger King. See, he lets me stop writing for 10 minutes during feeding time. Anyway, to summarize, you don't want King of Fighters EX for the GBA. It's not very good and it's hard to imagine spending hard earned money it. This was, unfortunately, the final thing I bought with my money before I was ruthlessly kidnapped and beaten by Joe's so called "klick." ***Crack of whip*** Crap...feeding time is over. Sorry....

If you are reading this, PLEASE try to get me out of here. It's somewhere on latitude 90, longitude 85. That's all the information I have. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!