This review won third place in our "DP Game Review" Contest in 7/2002.
This one is entitled "Review of Ecco the Dolphin for
Dreamcast, by a panel of Yoda, Karl from SlingBlade, and Life with Louie's
Dad, Andy Anderson".
SlingBlade: "mmmf. That fish is pretty. Mmmmff. Can't much
get him to do nuthin"
Andy Anderson:
"You call this a GAME?! It's impossible! You want a good game? Back
when I was in the WAR we played fun games! Old Maid! Parcheesie! And War!
Now THAT's a game!"
Yoda: "no! Not impossible! Only in your mind is it!
SlingBlade:
"mmmf. Well. I guess'n I could try to talk tuh that there big
fish."
Yoda: "No! There is no try! Only do, or do not."
Andy Anderson:
"Why you !@#$#@@@#$@!@ fish you !@#$# controller !@#$#!!""
SlingBlade: "mmmf.. You ought not talk like that. Wish'n I had
some of them french fried taters. Mmmmf"
Yoda: "difficult to use, this Dreamcast pad is. Control it,
only a true Jedi can"
Andy Anderson:
" (gasp!) Dreeeem-cast controlllll-er?! I used to drive a TANK! This
is for little girlies! Where's the torpedoes button? When I was in the
WAR, I used to ride on sharks with a grenade in my shorts, then eat 'em
for breakfast the next day! Where's the machine gun in this game?!"
Yoda: "your weapons .. you will not need them. Use the
Force!"
SlingBlade:
"mmmf. Lookee that great big'un there. Big fish. White. Mmmmf. Ought
not bite Ecco like that!"
Yoda: "I see... a vision .. of people in pain ... suffering ..
they are playing THIS GAME! Who created this?! Ahh... Appaloosa .. yes,
Appaloosa from Hungary."
Andy Anderson:
"Hungary? They're good people, they're good people! Met a couple
hunkies in the WAR. Turned out to be MY BEST FRIENDS! (slams table). Lost
some blood saving those people!"
SlingBlade: "mmmf. Ah'm hungary. Got any o' them french fried
taters?"
Yoda: "water is murky ... difficult to see .. always in motion
is this dolphin. To go Up, how do I?"
SlingBlade: "mmmmf. Mebbe press this way"
Andy Anderson:
"Move over, soldier, let a VETERAN give it a try! Stand still you
!@#$# sea monster! Ahh, yeahhhhh ... Yeahhh... that's the ticket ... it
just takes some practice & some GOOD OLD-FASHIONED ELBOW GREASE....
Yeahhh"
Yoda: "On the Title Screen demo, you are. Not controlling
anything, you are not!"
SlingBlade: "ah'd give this game a 10 fer bein' pretty. Love
that dolphin, mmmmf"
Andy Anderson:
"HAW HAW HAW, that big shark ate the fish whole! HAW HAW HAW, let's
do it again!"
SlingBlade: "mmmmf! Ought not hurt that pretty fish like
that."
Yoda: "Hey! My lightsaber, unhand it you retard!"
Andy Anderson: "HAW HAW HAW , let's kill the the dolphin
again! HAW HAW HAW.. HEY you turncoat , whaddaya think yer doing with that
flashlight?!"
SlingBlade: "I'm fixin to kill you, I guess. Mmmmf"
Andy Anderson:
"URK! ... "
Yoda: "Pain. Suffering. This is the path of this Ecco
game."
