Kung Food should
work. It takes beat-em-ups out of the streets, ditches the save-the-girlfriend storyline,
and puts player into a refrigerator. It has the most uncaring vegetables since Attack
of the Killer Tomatoes. You control a naked green man. All of that should make it a
classic.
Initially, for the games opening 30 seconds, it is. The small variety
of moves, done in conjunction with the d-pad and buttons, offers other means of attacks.
Enemies seem varied, from rolling tomatoes (a tip 'o the hat maybe?), ice cubes gone
wrong, carrots with staffs, and cheap shards of ice that pop up without notification and
kill you instantly. That's just the first level.
That's the type of challenge that squelches this game instantaneously. It's brutal, not
just because of the enemies, but because of the requirements. To land any punches, you
need to be on the same exact plane as the enemy. Just a little too far up or down is
enough to miss. There's nothing to indicate if you're even close to being right. The
oddball enemies don't have this problem.
It has a sense of humor about itself, though whether or not you decide if it's funny to
you depends on your patience. The characters are huge, filled with color, and show off
personality. It's one of the better looking non-scaling titles for this somewhat oversized
handheld. If the energy and creative juices could have been translated into a great game,
no one would be complaining.
Kung Food could have rode the gimmick all the way through to the end if the
difficulty was toned down just a notch from impossible. It's not the best game for kids,
and the chances of them even touching a vegetable after playing this is zilch. They'll
learn to never try to stand up to the cauliflower. It'll win every time.
