Anyway, I find some fun from spam sometimes, be it on e-mails, comments or whatever. It’s interesting to observe the traps they set for the poor spammed person sometimes…like this sentence I got form a comment I’ve just deleted:

“Why have you deleted my post? It was very helpful information and i guarantee atleast one person found it helpful unlike the rest of the comments on this web site.”

I am SURE that this kinda shit appeals to some bloggers out there (in fact, the rest of the post was about some tool to increase traffic). It’s not my case, so to the spam bin it went. Nonetheless, you gotta appreciate the effort!

Well, that’s it for now. I’ll be back to the VG topic soon. See ya, folks!

Yeah, I know..it DOES suck compared to the arcade. I admit that. But that weird, “cubed” Pac-Man running around on that squared blue labirynth, making weird noises,  is a memory cherished by many, many brazilians – even those who aren’t into videogames anymore.

You see, arcades were never that common around here as they are up north – and, therefore, very few people got to know the original Pac-Man. The first time videogames had a huge impact on our culture was with the 2600 – and I suspect that no other system was ever that present since then. And so, to us, the VCS version IS Pac-Man – and maybe, for that reason, we can see more easily that all the fun of the game’s premise is there, untouched, behind that sloppy, flickery conversion. Playing Pac-man on the Atari is fun for me, even today – and I can’t wait to finally get the goddamn cart, once I get my Dactar fixed.

“Oh, joy!!”

I guess that’s it for now. I really enjoy having this blog, although I didn’t get to really work on it. Today, I considered taking it out of my DP signature…but I didn’t have the guts. So it’s staying. I hope someone out there likes it. I do!

As the 1990’s approached, Nintendo produced new console systems, the portable Gameboy, and the follow up to the incredibly succesful NES, the Super NES. And while Nintendo’s popular NES franchises made the leap to both systems, Donkey Kong was not along for the ride. That would change in 1994, when Nintendo announced a new side scrolling platform game, from British developer Rareware, that not only would star the long absent Donkey Kong, but also feature advanced graphics on the SNES that rivaled the upcoming 32-bit consoles from Sony and Sega. Donkey Kong Country would be released in November of that year.

But before that, Nintendo released a different Donkey Kong game for the Gameboy. Simply titled Donkey Kong (but referred to as Donkey Kong ‘94 by most gamers), it was based on the original arcade game, but greatly expanded upon the premise. Upon completing the inital four arcade levels (yes, including the level missing from the NES version), the game expanded to over 90 additional levels of puzzle platforming action. The goal of each stage was to find a key to unlock the exit, which was often easier said than done. Every few stages, Mario would face off against Donkey Kong, and would either involve reaching the top of the screen, or pummeling Donkey Kong with his own barrels. Yes, Mario had a full set of moves this time, including a backflip and triple jump, and dropping from a high distance was no longer totally fatal (though it would slow you down).

The game was also the launch title for the Super Gameboy accessory, which allowed you to play Gameboy games on the SNES in limited color. Playing the game on the SGB not only provided improved graphics and sound, but an awesome border that replicated a Donkey Kong arcade cabinet. Along with exceptional level design and tight control, it is no wonder the game sold over a million copies and won critical acclaim. Donkey Kong was back, and we were all glad to see him.

As much a commercial success as Donkey Kong ‘94 was, it was nothing compared to what was to come next…

Next time: This is DK Country.

Poor Maryah.

Brief preface: if you’ve ever watched surveillance cameras before then you already know this, but EVERYONE looks like they’re stealing when that’s what you’re watching for. Customers picking things up, looking around, product temporarily out of camera view, friends huddling around, frames missing, etc etc etc. Well, I KNOW that going in. So my paranoia isn’t as bad as it used to be. Though really, everyone is trying to steal something. That has nothing to do with watching the cameras.

So, early in the day I check in with the cameras and I’m watching “Joe  baseball cap” spending a lot of time near the PS3 games. No, “Joe baseball cap” is not ME. Just a random customer in a cap spending an inordinate amount of time in a single area. Red flag. Before I could even make a phone call, baseball cap guy stashes a game down his pants and out he goes. I called Maryah to let her know. She was watching the guy but had other customers in the store and just couldn’t stay on top of him. That’s my fault. And it doesn’t end there.

Just over an hour later, three kids (not little kids – late teens, 16 to 18 each easy) in the store who JUST THE DAY BEFORE I had spotted and mentioned to my co-worker “they’re up to something” are in the store. I felt that way the day before because two of them were looking over at me – the first sign that they’re not just casual shoppers. If you haven’t met me, trust me, there’s no reason to look at me. When that happens I literally stalk that customer and yesterday, like many other days before, the suspects left the store without buying (or stealing) anything. Today was another story, however.

I didn’t notice it right away but I noticed it before they left. One of the kids had on two separate occasions taken a game from the Xbox 360 section, walked to a different part of the store, and suddenly didn’t have a game in his hand. When I realized what was happening I called Maryah and asked if she’d be comfortable with asking the kid to empty his pockets. Guess what – he was already out the door. And his two partners were gone too. Grrr…

The “arrest” part is coming up, one quick thing to add.

Maryah and I actually had some harsh words for each other over the course of this rather tense day, and near the very end of it I’m on the cameras again. This time, there’s a guy just standing near that section where several games had already been stolen… facing and looking directly at HER. Regardless of the fact that she’s prettier than I am, this is still a red flag. I called in and we both watched with anticipation but nothing ever actually developed there – but this is the kind of day it was. EVERYONE wanted to steal something. It didn’t just look like they wanted to.  They just wanted to.

Back to the “arrest”. When I see those kids again… and I WILL… there is going to be a serious confrontation. I’m smart enough to know not to start a fight physically, but I intend to start one verbally. I intend to use every intimidation skill I have ever learned, every swear word I ever learned, and every trick in the book to make these kids sweat or engage me. I have had it “up to here” with the thieves in this store. It’s time to set a reputation as not just someone who will report you to the police, but someone who might hurt you. Someone who is CRAZY.

Get your bail money ready :)

Believe it or not kids, but back in the 1980’s, most video games were not found on home consoles, but instead in stand alone units inside places called “arcades”. You would drop a quarter into the coin slot and play until you ran out of lives, and if you were good enough, you could input your initials into the high score screen… crazy, I know.

Two of Nintendo’s most beloved characters got their start in the arcades, with the game Donkey Kong. As the antagonist, Donkey Kong would spend much of his time at the top of the screen, hurling barrels at Mario (called Jumpman at the time), in an attempt to prevent him from reaching the whisked away Pauline. The platforming action and the variety of levels was unheard of at the time, and the game quickly became a smash hit.

The sequel, Donkey Kong, Jr., reversed the roles… it was now Mario holding Donkey Kong prisoner, while DK’s son was charged with rescuing his pop. The gameplay was similar, but introduced a number of new elements (such as keys and springboards) to keep things interesting. It was also the only game to feature Mario in a bad guy role (unless you count the first Wario Land, but in that case he was simply being kind of a jerk).

After Donkey Kong, Jr., Mario went off on a separate path, starring in new games with his brother Luigi, eventually becoming the timeless mascot for Nintendo. Donkey Kong, on the other hand, went on to star in the lackluster Donkey Kong 3. Wandering into a greenhouse, DK found himself on the wrong end of Stanley the Bugman’s bug spray. The gameplay was an odd mashup of a platformer and a shooter, and while it was enjoyable, it certainly wasn’t what players expected out of a Donkey Kong title. And DK had little to do, other than getting bug spray shot up his keister.

All three titles saw release on the NES when the system launched, though not without sacrifices. They all suffered from graphical downgrades, and in the case of the first game, the omission of an entire level. As the world got to know Mario, Link and Samus, Donkey Kong, aside from a few cameos, faded into the background.

Next time: The Return of Kong

The TurboGrafx-16 was an enigma to me as a child. Everyone I knew either had an NES, SNES or a Genesis (or in the case of a few spoiled exceptions, all three), so the only exposure to the system I got was through various magazines. It seemed like a neat system, and it had a couple of cute Mario style games featuring a caveman who bopped foes with his oversized noggin, but I never even saw the system in stores, so my curiosity ended there.

Cut to about fifteen years later, I found myself working a menial retail job with a crazed gamer who was ALL about obscure systems. When he found I had never even seen a TG-16, he insisted that I borrow his system for a month and see what I missed out on. Turns out I missed out on a lot. Among the titles he lent me, was Bonk’s Adventure, which I instantly loved. Soon after, I found out there was a remake coming out for the Gamecube and PS2, but of course, only in Japan. Thus, a year or so later, after Play-Asia finally got a batch in, Bonk’s Adventure became my first import title.

The first thing I noticed (aside from the improved cel-shaded graphics and clearer sound) was that it wasn’t so much an enhanced port but rather a remake of the Bonk classic. The levels themselves are condensed into a tighter design, but that doesn’t make the game a cakewalk. Rather, Hudson took the original Bonk game and compressed it into a more pure, more enjoyable gameplay experience. Levels are no longer long trudges across sparse terrain, but now a more exciting romp through more enemy populated lands, offering many opportunities to jump and bonk and spin to the point you could get through some levels without ever touching the ground.

However, if you thought that shortening the levels made the game easier, Hudson was ready to prove you wrong. Whereas in the original, contact with an enemy shaved off maybe a fourth of a heart in your life meter, in the remake, every hit knocks off a FULL HEART. There are plenty of extra lives scattered to help make up for this, and you can collect hidden fruits to regain your health. Collect all eight fruit in a level to gain another 1up.

The cel-shaded graphics are fitting for the title, while the backgrounds have a very Yoshi’s Island vibe to them. The music has also been redone, as well as a cute voice for Bonk, which is thankfully used sparingly. The use of a digital pad is the only way to go when playing, since analog sticks aren’t nearly as accurate for pinpoint jumps.

Just like the TG-16 game, you must play through the entire game in one sitting. However, once you do, you’ll unlock a level select to play a certain level as much as you want. There are also three different difficulty levels to play with, each unlocked as you beat the previous difficulty. Hudson has also hidden gold coins in the levels, ten on each difficulty level, which you can use to unlock classic Bonk TV commercials. Of course, they are well hidden, so good luck finding them all.

I feel that the remake, with its improved level layout and graphics, is superior to the TG-16 original, but it can be expensive and hard to find. You’ll also need a Freeloader or a modded system to play it as well. However, you can download the original Bonk trilogy (as well as Air Zonk!) on Virtual Console for a fraction of the price you would probably pay for the remake.

Taz-Mania takes advantage of the Mode 7 capabilities of the SNES hardware, giving the player full 3-D control of everyone’s favorite ravenous marsupial, and it plays more like a racing game, with Taz running against the clock to eat a certain number of kiwis before time runs out. The game is based very loosely on the 1990’s animated show of the same name, but despite appearances from characters from the show, there isn’t all that much to connect the game to the television series. Remember that great episode where Taz ran along a road while avoiding buses and eating birds? No? Maybe it was cut out of syndication.

The graphics are impressive for the time and make good use of Mode 7 scaling. The music and sound effects are rather muted, which is not fitting with a character known for his loud outbursts. Taz has several moves at his disposal, from grabbing birds and packages to speeding through the level as a snarling tornado. Sadly, the controls feel very loose (as they do in all of Sunsoft’s Looney Tunes games) and more often than not you’ll find yourself veering off the road and crashing into trees. And while the game can be fun at first, it gets repetitive and shallow rather quickly, and you’ll find yourself switching to another game after the first few levels. It’s certainly a unique idea, and a nice change of pace from the side scrolling platformers of the day, but it just wasn’t executed very well.

Strangely enough, the game feels rather familiar to me… a character running along a checkered roadway while occasionally spinning himself into a destructive force… this might as well have been a Sonic game! Seriously, just swap Taz for Sonic, and instead of eating a certain number of Kiwis in each level, you change the goal to rescuing Flickies. Replace the sprites of the other Tazmania characters to Sonic universe characters and viola! I’m honestly surprised some hacker hasn’t tried to do that very thing.

At the very least, it would be better than Sonic and the Secret Rings…

Produced by Konami, the NES game was a standard sidescroller, where two players could play at the same time, one controlling a vampire, and the other a Frankenstein monster. Both characters have the same attacks and double jump abilities, so there is no advantage in choosing one over the other. Occasionally you’ll come across an item to throw at enemies, but for the most part you’ll be fighting with your bare hands. The graphics are pretty good for the time, though there is a lot of flicker during two player games. The music, in true Konami fashion, is excellent and you might find a tune or two stuck in your head after playing.

Monster in My Pocket is not all that a great game, merely an okay one. The characters aren’t really that appealing, and the gameplay can get rather monotonous after a while. But if you’re looking for a quick beat-em-up to play with a friend, it’s not that bad.

It’s ok, but it’s hardly the be all and end all and I’m not entirely sure that it ever was. It’s not exactly fantastic to play, but it’s still surprisingly nice to look at.

Monday: Citizens Advice Bureau
Tuesday: College
Weds: Orange
Thursday: College
Fri: Orange
Sat: Orange
Sun: Orange

For those of you who don’t know CAB is a free quasi-legal service aimed at the general public, and Orange is a mobile phone shop. College is where I am trying to do my Legal Practice Course which will, one day (I hope), let me be a solicitor. It’s also bloody expensive, hence the obscene number of days working for Orange.

I’ve not found myself with a lot of time to play games. I’ve half started Fallout 3 again, as you do, and I’ve noticed that FFVII and MGS are up on the Playstation store (at last!) but that’s about it. I played the Left 4 Dead 2 demo and thought that it was great.

That’s about it really.

I get paid tomorrow, so I may well splash out on either MGS or FFVII. The latter is something of a weird one for me. I generally don’t like JRPGs at all, but like most people I have rose tinted memories of this one. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that it is “the greatest game ever” or anything like that (that would be Baldur’s Gate 2), but I do remember being very impressed with how it looked and generally enjoying it. For £8 it could be worth a look.

-GRAND PRIZE: PS3 60GB Set-up: Alexander Lopez #839225
-Bottomless Pit: Phillip Allawan #839558
-NES System + Collection: Mac Decastro #840741
-N64 System + Collection: Samuel Cintron #840016
-Genesis System + Collection: Ronald Jordan #840011
-$50 Gift Certificate: Steve Gintler #840673
-Box o Swag: Miltayes #840276
-Generation NEX Wireless Stick: Ray #840442
-$25 Gift Certificate: TonyTheTiger #839460
-DP Teddy Bear: Kris #899990
-DP Tote Bag: TonyTheTiger #839458
-DP Clock & Retro T: Justin Rojas #840718
-1 Free Pass to the Basement: Caleb Olivar #839050
-Mystery Prize: Chris Gosda (in-store tournament winner)

Here is some video, covering most of the really good stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/share?p=50A85584C01B7CE9

Congratulations to all of the winners!

If you didn’t see the trailer on the goofy (yet lovable) Nintendo Week show on the Nintendo Channel, Excitebike is returning back to basics (after a stint with trucks and robots), with an interesting WiiWare remake of the NES game, Excitebike World Rally. It takes the “Rebirth” approach, reimagining the original game with updated features, in this case, multiplayer and an online racing mode, as well as a return of the track editor. It looks like a fun download, and it shows Nintendo is starting to take WiiWare seriously.

I started to wonder, what other neglected Nintendo franchises deserve this “Rebirth” treatment? One franchise that came to mind immediately was Kid Icarus. A side scrolling sequel to the NES games as it might have been imagined on the Super NES? Much like Super Metroid, a Super Kid Icarus could take the original game and expand and build upon it, and polish it up to become an instant classic. Pit’s arsenal could include new arrows that perform different functions, such as a fire arrow to light a distant torch. New skills that emerged in Smash Bros Brawl could also be included, such as a limited flight / glide ability, and splitting his bow into double swords for up close melee fighting. And it could all be done with beautiful 16-bit spritework and a glorious remixed soundtrack.

I’ve always enjoyed western movies and settings, so Gun.Smoke was right up my alley when I visited a friend’s house one summer. After playing a couple of the standards such as Duck Hunt and whatever lousy licensed crap we young kids were suckered into buying (I think it was the Back to the Future game), she popped in Gun.Smoke and we started blasting away.

It was a scrolling shooter, much like in the vein of Xevious, but you controlled a cowboy shooting away with a pair of six shooters. Shooting barrels revealed powerups, which increased your speed and bullet range, as well as a horse you could ride, which essentially gave you three extra hits from enemy fire. Shopkeepers would sell you new weapons, as well as a wanted poster, which you needed to face the stage boss. Without purchasing (or finding in a barrel) the wanted poster, the stage would loop forever, something me and my friend were unaware of, so we never did finish that first stage.

Years later, I came across a copy of the game at the local dirt mall (for those who have never seen Mallrats, that would be another term for flea market) and the guy running the booth offered to pop it in his NES to make sure it worked. He died pretty much instantly, then handed the controller off to me. Much to his suprise (and to mine, actually) I spent the next five minutes shooting baddies and dodging enemy fire, then defeating the stage boss.

“Wow,” he said, “You must have played this a lot!”

“Yeah,” I replied, lying.

Of course, the game ramps up in difficulty and to this day I still can’t get past Stage 3. But it’s still a game I enjoy popping in once in a while. It has a certain charm most other shooters lack, and it’s got a great soundtrack. My only suggestion if you’re going to play this game… do your thumbs a favor and pick up a turbo controller. They will thank you for it.

Turns out I didn’t miss much.

Good lord, if you played this back in the day… I feel for you. After the laughably bad CGI intro (though to be fare, it was probably cutting edge back in the early 90’s…), I tried to progress through the first cave, ending at a dead end with no idea how to progress. Lara controls like a tank, and her platforming skills are, well, nonexistant. I spent probably ten minutes trying to jump onto a ledge that was a foot tall, yet Lara could only jump straight up into the air. Oh well, at least I got some laughs by repeatedly pressing the dodge button, which makes Lara roll around like an idiot.

Then I popped in Virtua Cop and played a round to clear the bad taste out of my mouth. Now THAT’S a good game.

Turns out he knows my taste in games all too well.

Boing! Docomodake DS, or as I’ve taken to calling it, Shroomin’: The Game, is a puzzle platformer in the same vein as Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis. You control Papa Docomodake with the D-Pad (or buttons, if you happen to be left handed), and using the stylus, you can pull smaller shrooms off of his body and use them to activate switches, act as stepping blocks or even use them to attack enemies. The goal of each stage is to reach the exit, and along the way you will encounter coins and treasure chests. Though you don’t need to collect them to complete the stage, they do add to your total score at the end of the stage, and some chests contain additional shrooms that add to your total body mass. You can also use the coins to purchase unlockables, such as music tracks and cinema sequences.

The game progresses at a leisurely pace, with some relaxing music and a quirky story leading into each stage, and the game gently ramps up the difficulty leading into the final stages. Indeed, the last world can become rather frustrating, as you can easily get stuck and be forced to restart a stage if you don’t plan ahead. But overall, it’s a rather short, yet addictive game, and when it’s all over, you’ll be yearning for more.

If you enjoyed March of the Minis, you’ll certainly enjoy this title, and it’s at a bargain price too. The only problem I’ve found, as with most things involving shrooms, is that the trip is over far too soon.

The wallpaper on the PSP is the kind I’ve seen before – hot chick in skimpy clothing. Thing is, this “chick” looked an awful lot like my customer. No, it IS my customer.

“Is this you?”

She wasn’t in any way surprised or embarrassed, and answered “Yes, I’m a professional wrestler”.

Not knowing Jack about the professional wrestling business, I went about the usual diagnostics, though I did say “Suddenly I’m a little distracted while going about the usual diagnostics”. The customer proceeded to pick up the phone and call her husband, calmly explaining that he had left her scantily clad “lolita” photo on the PSP wallpaper.

I cleared the PSP but it’s going to be pretty hard to clear that image from my brain. Or my hard drive :)

All the in game screen shots I take are 1024×786. Whilst I wouldn’t want them quite that large on here it would be nice if they were big enough to actually, you know, see. Is it possible to make them a link, so you can click on them to get a larger version?

I recently bought a couple of Gameboy boxes to complete a couple of games I had. Sadly, though not unexpectedly, the boxes came without the old plastic trays that held the cartridge in place inside the box. Knowing that SNES game tray repros exist, I searched around for a Gameboy equivalent, but I couldn’t find any. No surprises there, since I’m sure Gameboy boxes are even less likely to survive than their console counterparts.

So I decided to make my own.

I used letter size cardstock and printed a template I made in illustrator. I cut out the shapes using scissors and an exacto knife, then used a flat edge screwdriver to score the folds. A few pieces of scotch tape keeps the box together.

It ain’t pretty, but it works pretty well. If anybody would like to make improvements upon this design, please feel free to make changes. The link to download it is here.

It’s a shame that Xseed doesn’t seem to want to release Retro Game Challenge 2 (which covers fake Super Famicom games), since everyone agrees that it is even better than the first one. But who knows, maybe it will eventually come out here too? I sure hope so.

I wouldn’t squander my winnings on expensive but otherwise readily available items. No, I’d also use this opportunity to get my greedy little hands on something truly unique like an RPG prototype. Something that I could look back on and tribute to winning this contest.

But most importantly I have boobs. So gimme.